A Wisconsin church is in the market for an organist. Turns out the last one was a sex-toy-sales-woman.

Linette Servais had played the organ and directed the choir at St. Joseph Catholic Parish in rural New Franken, near Green Bay. Much of that work she did as a volunteer, and she was by all accounts an active member in the church community. And so when Father Dean Dombroski called her into his office, Servais says, she had been expecting a “thank you,” not an ultimatum. However, the 50-year-old organist was told to either quit working for Pure Romance (an Ohio-based “romance-enhancer” business) or quit volunteering at St. Joesph’s. After a good deal of soul searching, Servais decided her job was not “incompatible with her faith as a Catholic.” Unfortunately for her, the church did not agree, and over the next few months she was gradually relieved of her duties.

Linette has pledged to continue playing with organs despite the church’s position.

Source: Washington Post

Modern bombs don’t tick. They vibrate.

A VILLAGE was sealed off yesterday and the bomb squad called in to explode a buzzing parcel — which turned out to be a SEX TOY.

Post Office staff dialed 999 when the package started making a noise.

Cops shut the main road in Hasland, Derbyshire, and told residents to stay indoors. Pub boss Steve Chapman said: “We thought terrorists had infiltrated the village.”

I wonder what’s scarier to the people of Hasland; terrorists or vibrators?

Source: The Sun

A 107 year old man attributes his longevity to lack of sex.

But the centenarian, who’s had no difficulty living a monastic existence for nearly 80 years, admits the pleasures of tobacco have been harder to resist.

“Now I want to quit,” he was quoted as saying of his decades-long cigarette addiction. “Maybe the government should ban cigarette sales so I can give it up,” he added.

This man has his priorities out of whack.

Source: Reuters

HotMovies will be closed on Monday the 28th for Memorial Day.

There’s something about drinking beers in the pool, maybe the chemicals – I dunno, it just tastes better.

Enjoy the beach and bbq’s.

We’ll see you on Tuesday.

-James