Just a quick reminder to everyone out there to have a fun and safe Halloween.

No vacations for this pagan holiday, so we’ll be back here tomorrow with bellies full of candy… Bubble gum and taffy…

Happy Halloween,

-James HotMovies

If you hadn’t noticed all the slutty costumes running around today; it’s Halloween. So, to celebrate I spent the last week trick or treating through the extensive HotMovies library to bring you the 7 best Horror Themed Pornographies!

Cue lightning…

7. From Lust Till Dawn – This erotic, horror, thriller isn’t a parody of its Tarrantino namesake. You see vampires are having sex with and feeding on helpless, human victims. In an attempt to uncover this sinister world that lives in the cover of darkness, Monica Dawn (Christina Black) falls victim to these creatures of the underworld. There’s even some nun sex for those of you who aren’t turned on by fake blood and big tits.

6. Demon Lust – Nick and Tony have three days to pay back the mob or face certain death. Persued by maniacal hit man Eddie “The Goose” Rao (Tom Savini) the two hapless crooks pull a B&E at the home of one Amanda (Brinke Stevens). She’s this sexy, mysterious woman with some very strange nocturnal habits. Demon Lust would be higher on the list but there’s a giant prosthetic monster suit in the final scene but no one has sex with it.

5. Santa Claws – From the co-creator of the horror classic Night of the Living Dead and the beautiful horror actress Raven Quinn, comes the scariest holiday tale this year. A depraved serial killer stalks the cold winter night… Santa Claws! The red-suited maniac tracks Raven down to the set of her latest erotic horror movie. Here, the grim madness of reality collides head-on with cinematic fantasy in a blood-frenzy of psychopathic mayhem and slaughter. I love Halloween/Christmas Horror mash-ups.

4. Demon Sex – (Not to be confused with Demon Lust) A dying race of alien demons lands on Earth looking to save their species from extinction. What better way to conceal their identity than by morphing into super-orgasmic, sex-hungry human females and then using their new and luscious bodies to get everything they need – most importantly, a secret formula of alien DNA that will help rebuild the alien population?

3. Hookers In A Haunted House – Three “ladies of the evening” repeatedly encounter the ghost of a grocery store bag boy after being forced to spend the night in a haunted house. Slapstick humor and bared breasts abound in this nutty horror comedy. Some of the jokes are flat. The chests, however, are not.

2. Texas Dildo Masquerade – Tabitha Stevens stars, alongside a dream-team ensemble cast of big dicks, nice tits, and more dildos than you can shake a … dildo at. This one sticks close to the original. Ron Jeremy turns in a superb performance as the cripple brother. Needless to say the virgin doesn’t survive either.

1. Re- Penetrator – “Re-Penetrator” Directed by Doug Sakmann is a pornographic spoof of H.P. Lovecraft’s 80′s horror flick Re-Animator. The film is the story of a stripper (Joanna Angel), who after being dead for twenty years, is resurrected by a perverted mad scientist, Dr. Hubert Breast (Tommy Pistol). Dr. Breast vaginally injects the long dead, but exquisitely preserved, exotic dancer with a special serum so the re-penetrated corpse will return from the VIP room in hell and crave nothing but sex. After he injects her with a gooey green potion, the stripper awakens with an insatiable craving for balls and fucks the mad scientist from the gurney to the grave.

I’m looking forward to the sequel where Joanna Angel is scheduled to bone Lovecraft’s other famous creation; Cthulhu.

Happy Halloween,
-Pat Joseph

Rose the goat, who choked to death on a plastic bag, is survived by her human husband and goat kid.

The subject of one of the BBC’s most popular online news stories, a Sudanese goat who was “married” to a man found having sex with her, has died.

Rose, the black and white goat, became an internet phenomenon after her owner discovered the man, Charles Tombe, copulating with the animal in February last year.

Local elders in the South Sudan capital, Juba, forced Mr Tombe to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars (£25) to the goat’s owner and wed her as punishment.

She’d want you to find another great goat and remarry, Tombe. She’d want you to be happy.

Source: The Telegraph

Besides hanging out with porn stars I also get to tour the country doing stand-up with other comedians from the Howard Stern show and some are even more fucked up then I am.

I’ve been divorced twice and I live in my second (ex) wife’s basement, so I can be around for my 8-year-old son. It’s a weird situation but he needs his dad and I need my son.

On the road it’s a whole different dysfunction, the Killers of Comedy are my family away from home.

I travel with Sal Governale who doesn’t exactly have the best home life now because of all the crazy fucking things he does on Sirius Radio; including kissing his writing partner’s taint on-air for 500 bucks. I guess any wife would be appalled.

I also run around with Beetlejuice; a black, retarded midget who thinks he’s in charge of the crew. Sometimes, when Beetlejuice finds the booze, he’ll scream at us until he shits his pants. Once, my old girlfriend picked us up at the airport and as we got in the car she asked what’s that smell, which one of you shit yourself? I broke up with her shortly after.

Can’t forget Richard Christy; who only showers once a week. It’s like packing your luggage full of shit and taking it on a plane. He’s is afraid to fly so he starts drinking 2 hours before boarding and keeps it up the whole flight. You can spot his empty beer cans rolling down the aisles on take off and landing.

Speaking of dirty, there’s Yucko the Clown who hasn’t washed his clown outfit in 7 years. He travels with dildos in his luggage and it’s funny to see Security handling vibrators while searching his luggage; “It’s my act, I’m a clown damn it!”

Jim Florentine also comes with us. I’ve known him for 17 years and he still acts like a little kid. Anytime a women walks within 10 feet he says, “Ma’am, you dropped something” and she looks around as he giggles like a little Asian school girl. He also has the worst farts I’ve ever smelled. He would fart in his car, roll the windows up and put the heat on. Torture. Like Abu Grab but nobody’s genitals are being touched.

Ex-professional wrestler The Iron Sheik – 65, broke and recovering from a crack problem – is making his comeback with us. Airport security love to frisk him every flight, sometimes we tape it and play it on Howard TV. They must think he’s got bombs in those curly Aladdin shoes of his.

Finally there’s Shuli, who works for Howard 100 News. The man smokes more weed than anyone I’ve ever met. When we stay in hotels I don’t even need to know his room number, I follow the smell of pot.

When we’re not on the road I’m on the radio. Most people know me from Howard Stern, I do work for the Kidd Chris Show in Philly, too. They’re a bunch of ball busters who would throw their mothers out of a window if it made for good radio but you gotta respect that. That’s why it’s so successful; it’s fast paced and hard hitting. I do believe the Kidd Chris Show is the future of radio.

Another good friend and big radio talent is Scott Ferrell, he does a sports show on Howard 101 from 8-12 Mon – Fri. His show is like nothing you have ever heard and to watch him is like watching a caged animal let out of a cage on speed. He and his wife just had a baby girl and I’m really happy for them.

I have a show on Sirius Radio myself (Howard 101 – Sundays at 7pm est), Miserable Men with Shuli and Jim Florentine. It’s just a little slice of heaven where us men finally get to tell women how we really feel about them and what they do to us. Pay back is a bitch, ladies.

For more on Miserable Men or the Killers of Comedy visit my site. I try to keep it pretty well updated but things are always so crazy. Last week’s tour made me snap and I finally quit drinking. Now, I’m on Lexapro and Xanax and I can last for hours in bed. Thank god for my lifetime subscription to HotMovies.com so I never have to get up.

-The Reverend Bob Levy

You can get more of the Rev Bob every Sunday night at 7:00 pm on his radio show Miserable Men, Sirius Satellite Radio – Howard 101.

Does this mean Halloween is canceled!?!

Puppetry Art Theater’s Timothy Young Tuesday uninvited dancers from Scores who had signed on as volunteers for Saturday’s second annual Haunted Halloween Carnival Benefit at Middle School 51 in Brooklyn.

Young said he asked the strippers to stay away because he was afraid the Park Slope school would cancel on him or sponsors would back out.

Young’s group is raising money for its work in shelters, and volunteers were to help with a special pizza party and costume giveaway for 300 homeless and hospitalized children the group works with.

I guess there were too many people already coming as “sexy fire fighter” or “sexy nurse” to warrant the appearance of professionals.

Source: New York Daily News

Scientists in Utah have turned a straight worm gay.

By altering a gene in the brain of a female worm, scientists were able to change its sexual orientation so that it was attracted to other females. Scientists activated the gene that makes male structures develop in the body, but only turned it on in the brain.

The result was worms that “look like girls, but act and think like boys,” according to Jamie White, a researcher on the study.

The study supports the idea that sexual orientation is the result of the brain’s wiring. Erik Jorgensen, scientific director of the Brain Institute at the University of Utah, said the study “suggests sexual behavior is encoded in our genes.”

Well, sure, but it’s possible the worms were just experimenting or trying to impress some boys.

Source: Environmental Graffiti

Jesse, HotMovies: Portland, returns from Berlin with pictures by Michael Diamond.

One might easily say it’s the best adult show on the planet. The Venus exhibition in Berlin can’t be matched when it comes to scale — seven halls filled with stage shows, producers, distributors, manufacturers, performers and fans, all mingling together in a setting unencumbered by the rules one finds in America.

Did I mention the free-flowing German beer?

But that’s only the beginning. It’s all here and anything goes: extreme fetish gear, full body nudity and penetration, for start. And that’s just the fans! Massive exhibition spaces, some of which dwarf the biggest in Vegas, host some parties and meetings alike. A who’s who from Europe, the states and places more exotic still, gather together to celebrate and connect in a forum unlike any other.

I made my way to Berlin for the third time as a HotMovies rep, accompanied once again by CJ. It’s nice that we have a direct flight from PDX to Frankfurt, courtesy of Adidas, who sneakily (sorry, couldn’t resist the pun) set up their U.S. headquarters in Portland so as to easily poach Nike talent.

We would meet the bossman and booth mates Michael and Markella from Eros Arts Productions at the booth. But first we had to finish getting there.

Aside from the usual stress in the Frankfurt airport (which I’m absolutely positive they modeled on at least one of the circles of Hell) trying to make connections, the trip in was uneventful. A side note on the Frankfurt airport: They have now posted signs telling you it’s verboten to smoke in the airport — but there is actually one place you can. Seriously, thanks for that wholly unnecessary moment of horror after nine hours in the air!

After settling in once we reached Berlin, we made our way to our favorite little jazz club, Quasimodo. It’s now a tradition to experience some form of amazing music at Quasis every trip out there and this year Micatone didn’t disappoint. Like some funky-strange hybrid of Portishead, Steely Dan, Artificial Intelligence and The Meters, this Berlin quintet set us off on the right foot for a tremendous week.

Starting with the B2B day on Thursday and through to the last contract gathered Sunday afternoon, the show was once again kind to HotMovies. Many, many new signings are eminent, but we won’t let the cat out of the bag just yet on all of them. I will only mention that lovers of some of the best gay content and best fetish content in Europe should be looking out for some outstanding new stuff on the site in the very near future. And we didn’t forget the straight crowd either.

A few studios to look for in the near future include: Fallen Angels Production, Agentur, DOMA, Herzog, and Afromedia.

As with any show, meeting people you don’t work with and establishing better bonds with those you do takes precedence. Some of the absolutely terrific people we had the pleasure of sharing drinks or time with included the lovely and talented Jewell Marceau and the incredible Roy Alexandre, who is somehow even more impressive in person than his outstanding Blue Coyote movies would lead you to believe.

Once again, we stayed at the Estrel Hotel, which for all its impressive stature as Europe’s biggest hotel and convention center, has some serious drawbacks. Toilet paper like 80-grit sandpaper, king-sized beds with queen-sized comforters, and a lack of reliable in-room Internet or any kind of room service are just the tip of the iceberg. I was tempted to include a list of the ten things I hate the most about the Estrel, but there’s an undeniable flipside.

The bar is where things happen. The English speakers all seem to congregate there, whether they are staying at the Estrel or one of the many closer-to-the-show options. One can rely on making the most interesting connections because of language solidarity, something the Circle Bar at the Venetian, for all its entertainment, cannot boast.

One other nice thing about the Estrel this particular weekend was that they hosted a series of WBA heavyweight boxing matches Friday night, including the main event for the Intercontinental championship. My feeling is that boxing is a dying art but I will say that there is nothing like sitting ringside (or close enough) for a championship bout. The German crowd went crazy when the German challenger (who I swear looked like Isaiah Rider on steroids) beat up on reigning champ Oliver McCall of the United States.

More of our favorite people from the show: German fetish girl extraordinaire Carmen Rivera; the one and only Tera Patrick, whose enormous effigy shared our Banner with Hillary Scott on the front of the Messe, where the show is held; and our perpetual crewmate Scott Watkins from Wet. Also a quick shoutout to our favorite impersonators: M.L. Jordan (aka Louis Armstrong) and Grant, who does Elvis in the Stars in Concert show at the Estrel. Good to meet you!

In all, another tremendous year for HotMovies and I can’t wait to get back there next year! Much love to all our friends.

-Jesse

You can find more photos at Michael Diamond’s gallery.