*This is actually Jack Benny.
Please allow me to introduce myself (you can get back to the category list in just a second, just hear me out awhile). My name is Si, and I’m very pleased to be making your acquaintance. Truth be told, when I got the gig here with HotMovies.com I thought about it and did flirt with the idea of adopting a spiffy new porn name. You see them around, and some can be quite clever. The likes of Si Nner, or Exta Si were possibilities, but crap and too stripper! I then considered going South American (cos everything is a little more racy down there!) and was gonna use Juan Huppa DaBumBum, but thought that a little too ridiculous to ever expect anything I write to be taken seriously (it did become a twitter account though, and why I ever expect to be taken seriously is a mystery in itself). So anyway I played it safe, abandoned clever, and went with what my parents christened me!
Don’t ask me how I got here, I don’t even know myself. The phrase “more luck than judgment” springs to mind. You know those trips you have when you go away with the boys (or the girls), maybe on a stag or a long weekender, and you end up in Amsterdam or Vegas or somewhere equally “salubrious?” You hit the town on the first night convincing yourself you’re gonna pace yourself and before you know it you wake up face down in a park three days later, in a different city altogether, head thumping and wearing underwear that isn’t your own, with the faint scent of sex and melon-scented body spray wafting from various parts of your anatomy. You know you had a good time, but you just don’t know anything about the sequence of events that got you there. Well, that’s kinda similar to how I got here. I have absolutely no idea of what happened when and where or between whom, but here I am. Most would call it the dream job. I used to work in a law firm and yeah, there’s really no comparison – though both jobs involved lots of cocks and people being screwed, so I guess there are similarities in the most unlikely of things. I am, of course, very pleased to be here.
So my purpose here? Well, I’m not entirely sure (just kidding – I am totally sure, really now). I shall be sharing my thoughts about this, that, and a bit of the other, reviewing new movies, old classics, as well as discussing hot topics and hot movies (haha, see what I did there? That was possibly a little bit clever. A very little bit. Gimme a break. It’s my first post already!). Plus, I’ll be reviewing HotMovies.com exclusives and generally talking about all things that fall under the huge banner that is sex. I come from the same point of view as you; I am a consumer and a fan who likes to watch people fuck. Let’s face it, if you can’t find what you like on HotMovies.com to quench your pornographic thirst, then frankly you better give up trying! Have you seen the category list? There’s stuff on there Hef never even heard of! And they’ve created a way for you to get it, all rather brilliantly, on your very own terms! I mean holy load blower, is this not the best damn click your mouse ever made? I think it is!
So that’s my little introduction. Hello again, and goodbye for now, we shall meet again, probably very soon or possibly never at all when they read this and think, “That new guy, huh?”