Starting on February 6th and going until February 16th, the University of Chicago will be hosting a sex week full of all sorts of workshops and talks related to sex. This is probably one of the coolest things I’ve seen a college do for its students. Sex education is something that should be focused on more, and this event seems to do it in a really interesting way. The workshops are a great mix of fun and educational. Here are some of the events that I think would be the best to attend.

sex week logo

Jessica Drake

Jessica Drake will be doing a discussion on her personal story through the adult industry. This has all the makings of a very interesting discussion. Jessica Drake has been a star in the adult industry for a long time, and it’d be really interesting to get her perspective on the need for better modern sex ed. She’s been making quality films for over a decade and has a lot of insight, I’m sure.

Jessica Drake

The how-to talks

There are going to be a lot of really neat how-to workshops throughout the week including workshops where you can learn to tie up your partner with rope, how to dirty talk, and the art of oral sex. My only hope is that the rope workshop is interactive, and they let people practice on each other. In fact, colleges should probably just start offering a Bondage 101 class for students.

So overall, it’s going to be a great week for the University of Chicago. There’s something for every aspect of sex. You’ll be able to learn about the business side of the adult industry, get tips on actual sex, and hear discussions on some relevant social issues regarding sex and the LBGT community. This obviously isn’t something everyone can attend. But I think it’s important to raise awareness of this sort of thing in the hope that events like this will spread to other colleges and places.

 

The 2014 FIFA World Cup is coming up. The sporting event is watched worldwide and brings entire nations together. However, as the USA has drawn a terrible position and was put into the group of death along with Germany, Portugal, and Ghana; I need to find other reasons to watch. Because in all likelihood, the USA will be bounced fairly quickly. So what reasons do us folks whose teams will be out of the tournament quickly have to stay interested in a particular team and country?

Bobbi Eden

Well, in the 2010 World Cup, porn star Bobbi Eden gave a whole group of people a reason to cheer for a specific team. The adult actress just so happens to be from the Netherlands.  So what she did was send out a promise to all of her Twitter followers that if the Dutch managed to win the Cup that she would personally give all of her followers a blow job. Sadly for Bobbi’s thousands of followers, the Netherlands lost in the final match by a score of 1-0. Talk about devastating if you happen to be from the Netherlands. Not only did your team lose a heartbreaking match, but you also just lost out on a chance that would have probably been the greatest blow job you’d ever receive.

Eden’s promise on Twitter led to a huge increase in followers for the star. This makes me wonder what sort of promises will be made this time around. If you’ve been paying attention, then you know Christy Mack recently made an oral sex promise over her Twitter account. It seems to be a really good way of gaining attention and marketing yourself for these industry starlets. I mean, who wouldn’t want to win a blow job from a porn star? Seriously, find me a guy who would turn down that offer.

Now, as mentioned before, it’s unlikely the USA is going to do anything of any significance in this year’s World Cup. So that being said, an offer like this would probably have to come from an international star whose country is a little more talented and hopeful at winning. Here’s a list of possible stars I think should consider doing an offer like this.

Bobbi Eden

Bobbi Eden boobs

Hey, she did it once. Why not try it again? Maybe this time the Netherlands can pull it out for her.

Asa Akira

Asa Akira

While Asa was born in the US, she could definitely support her Japanese heritage and make some sort of sex-filled promise to her supporters if the Japan team manages to do some damage in the Cup.

Rebecca Linares

Rebecca Linares

Rebecca’s promise could carry some serious weight. Being from Spain, she resides from the last World Cup’s winning nation.

These are just a few of the stars that I would like to see make some promises during the World Cup. But maybe that’s just me being selfish since I would love to get a blow job from any one of these lovely ladies. So make sure you keep an eye out on Twitter to see if any crazy sex offers are put up.

 

We’ve all heard those erectile dysfunction commercials that say, “If you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours, see your doctor.” That seems like an incredibly long time to withstand having a boner. Well one young Irishman experienced the erection of a lifetime that shatters any of those pill side effects they warn you about.

You see, this man was just out on a nice mountain biking trip. But along the way, he had a bit of an accident. In the process of the crash, he fell onto the bike crossbar. This doesn’t seem that bad, right? We’ve all fallen off of a bike at some point.

mountain bike crash

Well it turns out the result from this spill left the man with a massive erection that would go on to last for 7 weeks! The man finally decided to seek medical attention after 5 weeks of enduring a hard-on. Can you imagine walking around, trying to perform your daily life activities with a boner for that amount of time? I don’t know exactly how I would react if this situation occurred to me, but I’m pretty sure I would seek out medical attention a little sooner than 5 weeks.

Like, how do you explain that? Imagine walking into the office with a raging erection and having to explain that to people. You will forever be known as the guy who had a 7 week erection. No amount of time will ever be enough to rid you of that burden.

I guess on the plus side you could have a ton of sex. Actually…maybe that’s why he didn’t go to the doctor sooner. He was too busy banging chicks the whole time. It all makes sense. It can be difficult sometimes for guys to have sex multiple times consecutively. You can only stay hard for so long. But this man, he could go for hours on end. I really hope this is the case. Because if it is, then it’s totally acceptable that he waited so long to seek medical attention. Who would want to give up that power?

Why do condoms have to be so difficult? The first latex condom was made in 1920. That was 95 years ago! How have we not created a better product by now?! Let’s just go over some of the difficulties.

First off, the packaging. What kind of super material is this? It seems easy enough to tear right open, but no. Once you break through that initial packaging layer, you then have to deal with the inner stretchy packaging part that doesn’t rip open half the time.

opening condom

Great, now you’re sitting on the bed, boner down to a half chub, all because this fucking wrapper is made out of some sort of impenetrable spandex. With every passing second spent fighting the condom, your confidence in your masculinity is dwindling.

Now comes the awkward apology. You have to try and tell the girl starting to get impatient lying in your bed that this is all just bad luck. You don’t usually have this sort of trouble. I mean, it’s opening a condom wrapper for God’s sake. Who has trouble with this?! But the more you struggle, the harder it becomes. And now you notice your girl is falling more and more out of the mood. Quick! There’s only so much time before the moment has passed.

Okay, so you finally got that latex little devil out. Now for the easy part. Just slip that thing right on, and then it’s time for the bone zone. Woo! Not so fast…

See, you just spent so much time battling the wrapper that now your hard-on is almost completely gone. What do you do? Do you try to force the condom on your limp penis? Or do you go back to step one and go through more foreplay? If you have a good partner then option 2 is definitely the way to go. Hopefully she understands your struggles and gets you right back in the mood. But what if this girl is kind of a bitch? You might try and force it. You don’t want to make her wait any longer out of fear that she might just get up and leave. If this is the route you choose, I wish you the best of luck. Just be aware, this situation could end in a lot of frustration and no sex.

disappointing sex

These are just some of the struggles one can go through when attempting to put on a condom. Normal functions become difficult because, let’s be real, you just want to start having sex as quickly as possible. Things get rushed and mistakes get made. So why after almost 100 damn years has a condom company not come up with a super easy to use product?

The best thing I could find that seems like it would solve a lot of these problems is a condom design made by Pronto. The only problem is that these things seem to only be accessible in South Africa. If you manage to find any online, please share how. Hopefully their design will spark interest in another larger company to make and distribute a product like this on a wider scale. Although, this video is a few years old, and I still haven’t seen anything like this in my local pharmacy. So perhaps it’s only wishful thinking.

Everyone knows that having sex is great, obviously. But just how much better off are you getting laid on a regular basis? Well, it turns out sex is the number 1 ranked activity for happiness. This determined by a study done by Carsten Grimm from the University of Canterbury in New Zealand. So what are some of the other activities that make people happy?

Top Happiness Activities According to the Survey

1. Sex

2. Drinking alcohol

3. Volunteering

4. Meditating/religion

5. Caring for children

6. Listening to music

7. Socialising

8. Hobbies

9. Shopping

10. Gaming

Now that you’ve absorbed that list, what have we learned? Apparently people like banging and boozing more than religion and kids. I’m proud of you, folks. Finally the world is starting to get its priorities straight. On a side note, I also find it incredibly amusing that something as simple as listening to music brings people almost as much joy as caring for children. One is a full-time job that costs a crap ton of money, and the other is something you can do in your spare time or just put on as background noise while you go about your life. Hmm… which one am I going to pick? Also, last time I checked music won’t throw up on me. But I digress.

This is just one study. Surely this is just subjective information and doesn’t speak for everyone. Well hold on, not so fast. Because not only does sex make people happy, but it’s also come to light that semen can be good for women’s health and aid in fighting depression!

happy semen

 To quote the dailymail article

“…seminal fluid contains chemicals that elevate mood, increase affection, induce sleep and also contain at least three anti-depressants.”

So ladies, if you’re ever feeling down you know what you have to do. Start giving lots of blowjobs and having tons of unprotected sex. You’ll be feeling better in no time! This a major breakthrough, guys. I think we just solved a lot of people’s problems with this info. Now we must spread the word! Sad women everywhere must learn that they can feel better simply by having sex with us guys.

By now I’m sure most of you have seen, or at least heard of, the video of Justin Bieber sleeping in a bed in Brazil. It’s been all over the place. If you haven’t…well, the context is this. Bieber appears to be sleeping in a hotel bed, and the person taking the video on their phone seems to be a lovely Brazilian lady (rumored to be a hooker or prostitute) who is now saying goodbye to the pop star after what I can only imagine was a night of dirty, kinky sex. But since we don’t actually see any of the action, check out this parody to get an idea of what it was probably like.

For those of you missed it; here’s the original video.

So this video is pretty amusing, right? Well, the internet has come along and made it even better. Here are a couple examples of edits to the video that leave Bieber in an even more awkward position than he is already in.

Justin Bieiber video spoof

This first edit combines the Bieber video with a classic GIF. The GIF alone is one of my favorite things on the internet. That guy’s “sexy” half smile is just all too perfect. But in the context here, it elevates the video to a hilarious level.

Here’s another great edit to the video. This one is good because it keeps such an authentic feel by being in video form and not just a GIF. I mean, if I saw this without ever seeing the original video there’s a solid chance that I would believe that this actually happened.

Okay, now I’m done having my fun at the expense of Justin. And while all of this has been amusing and entertaining; I think it’s time to lighten up on the hate that this guy gets. Seriously, the kid is 19-years-old. Imagine you were 19, had millions of dollars, and had a huge fan base who loved you. I bet you would do some douchey and irresponsible things, too. So yeah, I’ll poke fun at Bieber because it can be easy. But I don’t think the dude is doing anything that most other people wouldn’t if they were put in his situation.

family photo

It’s every guys’ worst nightmare. You just had a baby with your significant other only to find out that the baby looks absolutely nothing like you. What gives?! Usually this means that chances are your wife wasn’t nearly as faithful as she might have been leading on. Who knows? Maybe it was the mailman. Perhaps it was her brand new Swedish yoga instructor with the body of a God. Whoever the actual father is doesn’t matter. All that matters is it wasn’t you, and now you’re pissed.

Well, what if you your child popped out and didn’t look anything like you or your significant other, but you got a blood test and found out the kid was indeed yours? That’s exactly what happened to one Chinese man.

Jian Feng had a daughter with his lovely and beautiful wife. Or so he thought. It turns out that his wife wasn’t always so beautiful. In fact, the majority of her good looks were a result of roughly $100,000 worth of plastic surgery performed while she was in South Korea. Mr. Feng was slightly surprised to say the least. So surprised that he ended up divorcing his wife and proceeded to sue her for having such an unattractive child.

Before and After pics

These are some before and after pictures. That is quite the difference! At least she got her money’s worth, I suppose. She went from like a 2 to an 8.

The verdict? Turns out the judge was convinced with Jian Feng’s case of false pretenses. His ex-wife was ordered to hand over $120,000. 

Damn! I mean, it’s one thing to lose a case like this. But to have to pay $120,000 after already paying $100,000 for the plastic surgery to begin with? I really really hope that she’s happy with the way she looks. Because that’s about the only thing she has left from this entire ordeal.

So just remember. The next time you’re planning on having children with someone; sit them down and have a long and truthful conversation about how authentic each of your physical appearances really are.

Owen Wilson

Actor and producer Owen Wilson will be part of a team developing a new show for Starz called WonderWorld that delves into the inner-workings of the porn industry. While Wilson may be most widely known for his roles in comedies like Wedding Crashers, The Internship, and Marley & Me; he is actually much more diverse. Wilson has teamed up on multiple occasions with director Wes Anderson in both acting and producing roles. And if you’ve seen any Wes Anderson films; while they may have funny moments, they are most certainly not comedies at the heart.

So what do we know about the show so far…

First off, the show is going to be a drama. Wilson is joining up with Rene Balcer, of Law and Order fame, who will be doing the writing and some producing. I’m certainly interested to see what the feel of the show is that these two come up with working together. Hopefully it’s not quite as bland and network tv feeling as Law and Order is. The fact that Starz is a premium channel and allows for more risque content should aid greatly in this.

Now, what exactly will be the focus of the show aside from just being about porn? Well WonderWorld will be taking place in the Ronald Reagan led 1980′s. The characters will include a couple of FBI agents who are trying to edge their way in to the Mob-run porn industry.

Okay, let’s recap. So far we have FBI agents, the Mob, porn, and the 80′s. I think we can be fairly certain that this show will contain a plethora of sex, drugs, and violence. Great news! Oh, and I’m assuming there will be a whooole lot of mustaches. More great news!

I really hope they put some clips of old, 80′s porn like Taboo II into the show. That would give it such an authentic feel. At the very least they’re going to need to model one of the characters after Ron Jeremy. I mean, how could you pass that up? It was such a great look!

Ron Jeremy young

 

Halloween is just a couple of days away. And while it may be too late to order a costume online in time for the big day this year, I think it’s still worth discussing where to find the best penis costumes. You know, for future uses.  It’s just simply a classic. Some costumes get played out over time. We’ve all seen the sexy nurse or witch or cop a thousand times. So many of these once great costumes have just become boring and commonplace. But no one will ever call you out for not being original for dressing up as a giant dick. It will forever be seen as hilarious.

So the question isn’t should you be a giant penis for Halloween, but instead, which giant penis should you be for Halloween? Well I’m here to give you some options.

Halloweenie Penis Costume

Halloweenie Penis Costume

This costume would be a solid investment for any of you future dong wearing folks out there. And at only $42 on Amazon, it’s a purchase that’s well worth every penny. But if you don’t believe me, just check out this review left for the product.

“Rejoice, my friends!! Brilliance now comes in the form of male genitalia. I LOVE this costume. It killed on Halloween so i branched out. I wore it to my buddy’s birthday party, nanny and pop-pops 75th wedding anniversary celebration and my sons christening. I always knew there was a hole in my life that I couldn’t fill, imagine my shock when i realized that hole was in the shape of a giant penis!! This costume made me the man i am today and i love it…STOP READING THIS REVIEW AND BUY IT!!!”

 So according to this buyer, not only will you be able to use this lovely costume on Halloween, but for all occasions!

Inflatable Penis Costume

inflatable penis costume

This costume is actually pretty realistic as it requires work to keep it up. It comes with a fan that keeps your penis looking inflated and at its best for up to  7 hours. I also think the idea of the penis deflating towards the end of a night of partying would be absolutely hilarious. You can find this costume for $60 at GadgetsandGear.

Inflatable King Dong Penis Costume

king dong penis costume

The last penis costume on the list is fairly similar to the other inflatable model. It uses the fan method to keep the costume in proper form. However, this one offers some diversity as it comes in black! So if that’s your thing, you can order the costume here.

Now you have all the resources you could possibly need to dress up as a penis. So go out there and be a dick! But, you know…not the annoying kind. Like, literally, be a dick.

Some things in the world are just made to have a counterpart. Think chocolate and peanut butter, steak and eggs, bonfires and sing-a-longs, Batman and Robin, and countless other famous pairs. Well one more that you can add to that list is rock ‘n’ roll and sex. Rockers have always lived a glamorous lifestyle filled with lots and lots of women. Although, it seems that in recent years, that over the top lifestyle has diminished compared to the way things were back in the 80′s. That is until punk band, Get Shot!, came along.

Get Shot!

You see, this punk band is on a mission to bring sex back into the world of rock ‘n’ roll. One instance took place when bassist, Laura Lush, decided to masturbate on the lawn of the Westboro Baptist Church. Now there have been some great anti-WBC protest signs over the years, but this demonstration takes the cake.

But it’s not just the bass player that’s helping out the cause. The entire band has been working on putting together their own porn site. This is from the about section of the band’s new venture, getshotgirls.com.

“Get Shot Girls! was founded in 2013 by J.P. Hunter & the ridiculously sleazy punk band, Get Shot! from Sacramento, CA . Our goal is to overwhelm the world with ridiculousness, super sexy, pussy drippin’ rock n roll and hot naked girls in all their natural beauty.”

That is one hell of a mission statement they have there. If you’re anything like me, then you must now be wondering what this magnificent band sounds like. Well, it’s equally as awesome as all of the stuff they do. Take a listen to one of their tracks, “She Loves My Cock”. The lyrics are just so…what’s the word? Elegant. Yeah, that’s definitely the word I would use to describe this.

I, for one, am happy to see a good old sleazy rock band back in the limelight. There are far too many goody goody bands out there these days. Rock and punk need to get back to their crude and dirty roots.