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Adult Gaming – Ubisoft’s “We Dare”

The buzz around the gaming world concerning Ubisoft‘s up-coming release of a new interactive party game for adults, “We Dare,” has been skeptical at best. Although the gaming community is infamous for underestimating the power and draw of simple social games, it seems the sexuality is what “We Dare” is under fire for. Early forum reactions to the advertisement above have held slightly disgusted undertones. Not to mention, the original ad has been banned in the United States. As a former hardcore gaming addict myself, I have also been guilty of slandering games in this genre with practically the same distaste. Fortunately, time moves on.

“We Dare” attempts to take the wildly successful interactive turn-based social gaming structure found in titles like “Mario Party” and “Carnival Games”, and focus it in a much more coy direction. With the original “Nintendo Generation” now reaching their late 20′s and early 30′s, I believe it’s far overdue bringing the dating atmosphere and the gaming community together. If the “International Sexy Ladies Show” can hold a successful time slot on “G4″, then pretending to spank a girl with a Wii remote in her belt line should not be too far of a stretch.

Different partnered activities pit couples against each other in a competitive, yet laid back “tongue-in-cheek” adventure. Finally, there’s something to do for couples on the Wii other than giggling at how the “shake the soda” mini-game in Mario Party makes everyone look like they are masturbating. Whether the ‘leet speakers of the United States think “We Dare” should be melted down and sterilized or not, I believe it will be the first in a long line of future coy adult gaming titles. Of course, time will tell.

Andy Dick Video Surfaces from 2011 AVN Awards

A short while ago, January to be exact, we posted a short story on some douchebaggery that took place backstage at the 2011 AVN Awards. Andy Dick was belligerently drunk and harassing stars in their dressing rooms before the show even took place.

Well, if it’s news…it is usually caught on camera somewhere in the modern age of video devices. This video turned up of Andy Dick in the middle of his alcohol induced tangent.

Bree Olson Arrested for DUI in Car Crash

Fort Wayne, Indiana is known for many spectacular accomplishments during our country’s history. Inventions spawned in For Wayne include the washing machine, baking powder, calculator, juke box, television, breathalyzer, and refrigerator. With such an impressive resume for innovation and development, adding the most beautiful destructive force of this past week should not come as a surprise.

Bree Olson, 24 year old blonde porn star, was arrested Thursday in Fort Wayne for Driving Under the Influence (DUI). Bree took her black Lexus out on the town, and managed to land herself in a single car accident. No worries, the flawless fuck bunny’s spectacular body was in no way harmed.

When Ms. Olson spoke to the police officials who found her Thursday night, she explained that she had only drank two beers before deciding to drive home. Unfortunately, blowing a 0.19 into the breathalyzer test means she was quite the liar. Although, the sudden irresponsible behavior may not be entirely Bree Olson’s fault. There is a very good possibility that she may have inherited the destructive capabilities by injection.

The real story here is whether or not we have a Charlie Sheen epidemic on our hands!

Is Charlie Sheen “Collecting” JM Productions’ Whores?

Latest Sheen drug, hooker, and sex fueled blowout involves frequent JM slut Kacey Jordan

Chatsworth, CA – It was just a few short months ago that Hollywood megastar Charlie Sheen thrust the sperm-burping hired hole Capri Anderson into mainstream headlines following his New York City drug, booze, and hooker fueled hotel room destroying meltdown. And now, Sheen and his whores are back in the headlines again. Taking full advantage of a week-long hiatus from his popular sitcom, Sheen threw a marathon drug and porn fueled party at his Los Angeles home that ended with him being rushed to the hospital because of a “hernia.” Sexy 22 year old porn super slut Kacey Jordan was in attendance at the event, and has not been very shy at all about dishing up scandalous accounts of the evening to the mainstream and tabloid media!

While Kacey will no doubt be hitting the talk show circuit in the upcoming days and weeks, we here at JM Productions would like to think that we knew of her ball draining and cumguzzling skills well before Mr. Sheen. “Kacey Jordan is absolutely amazing,” explains JM director Jim Powers, “This girl is so young, cute, and perfect you just want to permanently attach her face to the end of your cock.”

Kacey revealed in a recent interview that she had a two hour porn movie viewing session in the private theatre located in Mr. Sheen’s luxurious mansion and we can’t help but wonder if Charlie is a JM Productions fan. “We find it interesting that both Kacey and Capri Anderson are both in JM’s Gag Factor 30,” explains JM publicist Tony Malice. “We can only speculate that Charlie is working his way through the throats of all 10 of the movies cast members. Eight left to go!”

Much like Charlie Sheen, JM’ resident sex addicted degenerate director Brandon Iron prides himself on having fucked every girl in the porn industry. “I had the pleasure of fucking Kacey’s super tight holes and watching her eat my precious cum in She Is Half My Age #4,” boasts Iron. “She was so special that I put her on the cover.”

Kacey’s fucking and sucking talents are on full display is numerous JM Productions’ films. Perverts everywhere can check her out in American Bukkake 39, Fucked Up Handjobs 2, Gag Factor 30, She Is Half My Age #4, Liquid Gold 18, Midnight Prowl 17, Teenage Babysitters, and last but not least, the romantic comedy Cum Dump 3.

Distributors should contact JM Productions to order these fine titles now and cash in on Kacey’s new found fame. Orders can be placed now by calling Wyatt at (800) 550-3659. For more information or to acquire your copy please visit Jerkoffzone.com on the web today!

The Flying Pink Pig Lawsuit

The owner of a famous L.A. food truck is taking legal action against a porn company that used his restaurant-on-wheels as a porn set … and now he wants to block the release of the video because it’s threatening his business.

Joe Kim — proprietor of the ever-delicious “Flying Pig” catering truck — has fired off a cease and desist letter to Metro Home Video … claiming the naughty filmmakers intentionally misled him into believing his truck would be the backdrop for a normal movie … you know, minus the hardcore sex.

According to the letter, Joe had no idea waves of random strangers would be boinking in the food preparation areas.

Original Article

Charlie Sheen Chronicles – Bree Olson Loves Me… Bree Olson Loves Me Not…

After Charlie Sheen‘s fantastic 2011 AVN Awards and Vegas weekend, some new developments have arisen.

Our back story resembles Charlie Sheen‘s average stay of fidelity with any one woman, brief at best. The “Two and a Half Men” star filled his hotel room with some minor comforts after the AVN Awards. Strippers, Hookers and a plethora of booze would be more than enough for any normal man to stay entertained through an evening, but we’re talking about one of the original “Men at Work” here. Normal tits and ass are no longer part’s of the Cheer Up Charlie plan.

So, what could possibly satisfy the sexual appetite of such a man? Porn stars of course. Charlie Sheen invited both Michelle “Bombshell” McGee and Bree Olson back to his lone bachelor after party to raise the stakes. The two reportedly spent the night at the hotel room, and the news we’ve picked up since has been fairly interesting.

Since their little sleep over party, rumor has it that some romance may have erupted between Bree Olson and Charlie Sheen. “She’s definitely seen him many times, but she thinks there is more,” a source reported about Sheen and Olson. “She doesn’t understand why he doesn’t get serious with his girls.”

I’ll let the massive “Awwwwww” dissipate before tainting this budding love story. Some in the industry have decided against jumping on this bandwagon too soon after hearing ugly rumors. Bree Olson had reportedly attempted shopping a “tell-all” about Charlie Sheen last week.

Is this a grand story of sexy love saving a falling star, or yet another tale of how seduction may be the world’s most dangerous weapon? We’ll keep you posted.

What Would The AVN Awards Be Without A Little Dick Bothering Porn Stars?

News from the runway at the 2011 AVN Awards this past weekend in Las Vegas, brings us a gem of a drunken Dick story.

It seems that “wasted list” comedian, Andy Dick, was thrown out of the Awards before they even had a chance to begin. In true blackout fashion, Andy allegedly wandered into an AVN Awards dressing room at the Palms Casino while slurring words and spilling his cup of beer at random.

The New York Post gossip column quoted a source as saying, “You couldn’t understand what he was saying, but you could hear Chi Chi saying, ‘Leave me alone!’ Tera grabbed Chi Chi and went into another dressing room, but boom, there he was again. This happened three or four more times. He had a cup of beer, which kept spilling. Finally, this huge security guy came over, snatched the beer out of his hand, and said, ‘That’s it, we’re going!’”

This would come as a surprise if Dick hadn’t recently both flashed his cock inside of a coffee shop, and been picked up for randomly walking into a L.A. residence during the middle of the night. It may also help that my last video memory of Andy Dick is of him blowing a carrot while wearing an altar boy wig.

Come on Andy Dick! Get your shit together. It’s not like you were the only drunk haggard comedian in Vegas. Charlie Sheen was easily as fucked up as you were, and he managed to keep his booze, his strippers, his hookers, Bree Olsen, and Michelle “Bombshell” McGee in his room the whole night. In fact, that should be your party rule.

“I will NOT be worse than Charlie Sheen tonight.”

Dear Abby – Porn Addiction

The following was written to Dear Abby at the Kansas City Star………

DEAR ABBY: I’m pretty sure my husband is addicted to adult porn movies. We have several pornographic DVDs in the house, and I can tell when they have been moved. He denies he’s watching them. Our sex life has become almost nonexistent. Do you have any suggestions? — Suspicious in Florida

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Rather than accuse your husband of being a porn addict, start a discussion about your sex life. He may need to be examined by his doctor to determine if his problem could be physical. If that isn’t the case, then counseling with a therapist might help. It doesn’t seem likely to me that a man who views only “several” adult DVDs is a porn addict. Addicts are usually glued to their computers.

………………………………………

TJ: Thank you Abby for clarifying that it may not be this poor man’s fault he feels the need to search out exterior avenues for sexual satisfaction. Also, I would agree that this poor bloke could be found as a permanent sillhouette in front of his computer screen, if truly “addicted” to porn. Unfortunately, there is one thing here that does not jive.

In your answer to Suspicious in Florida, you make reference to this gentleman’s possible erectile dysfunction. Why, oh why, would a man who has problems getting it up be watching porn and not screwing his wife? Is he punishing himself repeatedly with his favorite sex on film? I don’t think so.

What Abby is trying to tell you by saying, “Rather than accuse your husband of being a porn addict, start a discussion about your sex life.” is that MAYBE IT COULD BE YOU, MISS FLORIDA! It takes two to tango lady, and if your steps suck…your dance partner is likely to just sit the fuck down and watch the fun couples. Jazz up your sex life! Dress up, buy toys, try edibles, etc… If you’re having a problem turning on your man, and he’s watching porn instead of cheating on you…you’ve got a 98% GOOD man. Now go work for your “A+” hun.

Kansas City Star

Greg Jacob Fucks Tanya Tate in Award Winning Porn Film

Normally when someone approaches describing reality porn and vans, an Adult Industry employee immediately thinks of two guys trolling the streets of California for “unsuspecting” amateur porn stars. Well, Tanya Tate has been recognized for her use of the two across the sea in Ireland.

Tanya Tate went on a quest in 2009 across Ireland, having sex with men who wished to meet her. Among those men was a top Irish sports star named Greg Jacob, a highly rated Hurler for Wexford. The result was “Tanya Tate’s Sex Tour Of Ireland” which won Best Reality Scene at the UK Adult Producer’s Awards held in London.

Tanya Tate stated when accepting the award, “it was very thrilling to win this award.We had a lot of fun on the shoot. It was exciting. The sex was hot and I’m happy it was recognized with an award.” Greg Jacob said he had no regrets about appearing in the film. It was just a bit of fun,” he said, “a dare from the lads.”

Delicious Tanya Tate decides it’s about time she got up close with some of her fawning fans. After some deliberation she plumps for perhaps her most deserving and neglected fans, the Irish. To ensure plenty of pussy pounding action in case Irish cocks aren’t rising, she enlists Peter O’Toole to tag along.

Firstly, Tanya travels to Galway and takes on three eager local lads in the Connamara peat bogs! These well-hung Irish studs slip her their sizeable shamrocks and make her squirt!

Then Tanya enjoys lusty times in Limerick with Darcy, Greg and Pete. The local lads are big fans of our MILF slut and give her pussy a hard three-way pounding that leaves her covered in spunk.

Moving on the rugged coast of County Cork, as the waves crash on the rocks below, Tanya looks forward to some hard Irish sausage crashing against her crack.

It’s a long way to Tipperary, but Tanya gets on her bike for an appointment with three hunky local studs anxious to hump their MILF idol. They decorate her tits with Irish cream!

Last but not least, randy Irish guys Stephen and William are anxious to show Tanya what an Irish cock can do. They both shag her rotten, making her squirt in the process!

Watch Tanya Tates Sex Tour of Ireland

RON JEREMY – Beaches, Buns and Bikinis

RON JEREMY CONTINUES TO GO MAINSTREAM IN NEW MOVIE “BEACHES, BUNS AND BIKINIS.”

Ron Jeremy, infamously known for unlimbering his timber in over 1,700 adult movies, keeps his money maker dry docked in the new release, “Beaches, Buns and Bikinis.” This festive, quirky, risqué and fun film is an environmental comedy that is an offbeat salute to the beach movies of the 1960’s.

This epic tale about love, hot dogs, sand, and a little magic is set in an industrial seaside town. Surfside music and carefree dancing emanate as CRAB SHACK SAMMIE (Ron Jeremy), a wise mystical beach sage and owner of the coolest hotdog stand on the sand begins his day. However, when the music stops and chaos begins, he knows what it will take to get magic back on the beach.

Opening a treasure from the past, he asks one of his employees (Adrian Jordan) to wear a beachin’ good luck charm, a magical hot dog suit whose presence will bring love and posterity to the beach. Then peace is again in turmoil when an unknown thief steals the suit, and their sandy universe is no longer, as they know it. As one of the effected beachside residents, CASPAR (Doug McAbee), discovers he has lost his one true love, RUBY (Aneela Qureshi), to his nemesis LITTLE BIG MIKE (Ty Smith.) Upon realization of the suits powers, Caspar knows he must act quickly to recover the hotdog suit so good fortune will return to the beach and get his girl back.

Ron Jeremy commented on the film, “I think it is very quirky, a very unusual storyline. I haven’t seen this kind of storyline before, it is what usually seems to sell well today, something much more creative, something out of the ordinary. “

- Original Article

The Porn Stick – Porn Detection Thumb Drive

The Porn Detection Stick, by Paraben, is a $100 thumb drive stuffed with Windows-compatible image detection software. Give it an hour and a half, and the device can scan 70,000 images—even deleted ones—with algorithms that analyze “facial features, flesh tone colors, image back grounds, body part shapes, and more.”

The system promises less than 1% false positives.

Of course, what the software can’t analyze are any videos that may be saved to your hard drive or pretty much anything in the web. In fact, the Porn Detection Stick seems designed for a whole other era of pornographic distribution, one when the discerning man might have scanned the latest Playboy to his 386 for posterity before pulling down his Zubaz pants to masturbate to it. Then again, maybe that’s a good thing. – Gizmodo

The only thing I want one of these for, is to see how fast I could fry it here at the office. There are more pornographic images on my PC than any life long dedicated porn addict could ever compile together at home. Sometimes we do sexy math on Fridays, and the results are pretty impressive.

If you allow an average of 1.5 hours per Adult Video HotMovies.com has available, there is 225,000 hours of Adult Video on Demand content on our network.

If you then also allow for the average 2.6 minutes it takes for a male to ejaculate. There are over 5,192,307 orgasms worth of Adult Video content that HotMovies.com provides.

Therefore, HotMovies.com is the best significant other in the history of significant others.

Never Say NO to Panda!

Our fearless leader, James Cybert, posted this video up on the HotMovies.com Official Facebook Fan Page this morning. Pandas may have a very cute looking exterior, but apparently they really hate being stared at. Case in point, the TV being nonchalantly pushed from it’s perch by Panda in the hospital room made me spit coffee all over my keyboard in laughter.

If you aren’t staying up-to-date on the HotMovies Facebook Page and HotMovies Twitter Feed, I fear that you are missing out my friends. There may be a lot of information that comes through this blog, but there is wayyyyyy more happening constantly in the HotMovies social sphere! Crazy conversations with Porn stars, Porn Studios, and even major Directors in the Adult Industry happen every single day. Make sure you tune in to keep in the know, laugh, and add your comments to the issues we’re talking about in the office all the time. WE LOVE YOUR INPUT!

Kanye West and Taylor Swift Porn Parody

Who could forget Kanye West making his biggest “gay fish” appearance to date at the 2009 MTV VMA Awards? Stepping on stage unannounced during Taylor Swift‘s acceptance speech, and stealing her microphone to give his two cents about Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” video, was the iconic rap artist’s idea of a necessary drunken Public Service Announcement. Since that fateful day, a slew of commentary has been thrown back and forth between the two music stars in public media. One moment they are apologizing to each other, and then they take extended shots in retribution the next.

It seems now that Vivid Entertainment has deemed the pop-culture feud big enough to make a porn parody of it. RadarOnline.com collected quotes from Steven Hirsch, CEO of Vivid Entertainment, confirming their interest in making the parody.

“Vivid is definitely considering the situation between Taylor and Kanye for a movie. We’ve only just begun to think of who would be right for the lead roles. We’re not concerned about backlash because both are public figures but, let’s be clear, what we’re producing is a parody. We also love the fact that Taylor has such a wholesome image.” – Steven Hirsch
- Quotes mashed from RadarOnline.com

Hirsch also alluded to possibly using their creative licenses in a parody to explore a possible relationship between Kanye West and Taylor Swift. The parody would use the previous relationship to put Vivid’s spin on what motivations Kanye could have had to create such a spectacle at the VMA’s. Regardless, the sheer star power involved in this media battle would almost certainly create an instant top porn parody seller. I cannot wait to hear who gets casted as both Kanye and Taylor.

Porn Shop Sells 128 Million Dollar Lottery Ticket

Highland Park— The primarily male crowd was brisk today at the Uptown Bookstore — the adult entertainment retailer that sold the $128.6 million lottery ticket Saturday evening.

As word spread about the winnings, interest at the shop on Woodward and Six Mile with the words “Adult Entertainment” and “Latest XXX Movies” on the side of the building began to spark.

A curious Justice Mitchell, 63, swung by with his brother around 1 p.m. to the lottery sale window on the outside of the building a couple of steps from the bus stop where the tickets are sold because he had to find out if it was true.

“That’s a good thing because usually it don’t happen here,” said Mitchell, lamenting that the winners usually come from the suburbs.

As for publicly claiming the winning Powerball ticket worth millions from an adult book store, Mitchell of Highland Park said he would “have no problem with it.”

“Who cares about that?” he said. “You got the money. All you want is the money.”

The Michigan Lottery announced Sunday that Uptown Book sold the single winning ticket that matched all seven numbers drawn in Saturday’s multi-state game.

Playing the lottery system is a popular choice in places like Highland Park, shop patrons say, because community that straddles Detroit is a struggling, impoverished area with high unemployment and dashed dreams.

The customer hasn’t claimed his or her prize yet, lottery officials said.

- Read More at The Detroit News

Elections – Masturbate and Vote!

Top 10 Reasons to VOTE

10 ) So you can complain.
If you are eligible to vote, but choose not to, we don’t have to listen to your whining!

9 ) It’s your right.
Young people, women and underrepresented groups all fought hard for the right to vote. And even today there are countries where people are still dying for the right to vote.

8 ) Representation.
Does it seem as if politicians are a bunch of old white males? Well, in Congress only 13 percent of members are of color, and only 14 percent are women. Want to change it? Vote.

7 ) Fashion.
You get to wear an “I Voted” sticker — definitely fashionable.

6 ) More federal money…
for youth programs, the environment, HIV/AIDS or breast cancer research whatever your cause! Where do the candidates stand on your issue? Find out and make sure your concerns are their concerns.

5 ) To cancel out someone else’s vote.
Whether it’s your Dad, your Mom, your teacher, or your soccer coach — you probably know someone who is going to vote the opposite of you.

4 ) To bust the stereotype!
“Young people are lazy, they don’t care, they won’t vote.” That’s what they say. Let’s prove them wrong.

3 ) If you don’t vote, someone else will.
Our government was designed for citizen participation, so if you don’t vote – other people are going to make the decisions for you.

2 ) Every vote counts.
The 2000 Presidential election proved how close things can get, so really every vote counts.

1 ) NOISE!
Want to make some? Then vote!

- YouthNoise.com

Top 10 Reasons to Masturbate for Peace!

10 ) It’s too cold to go outside and demonstrate

9 ) If I go blind they can’t draft me

8 ) The walls need painting white anyway

7 ) This is my weapon…this is my gun…this one’s for shootin….oh, never mind.

6 ) If you want it done right you have to do it yourself

5 ) All the lube will give me a baby-soft dork

4 ) It may be the only “peace” I’ll be getting for a while

3 ) If I use my left hand, it feels like someone else has joined my cause

2 ) What else am I going to do with the 80 GB of porn on my PC?

1 ) Because I can’t give myself a peace blowjob

- MasturbateforPeace.com