Today is Valentine’s Day. Quite possibly the shittiest of all the holidays to be alone on. Everywhere you turn romance is being shoved down your face. Don’t even think about going on Facebook today if you’re already feeling down and lonely. You’d have to be a true masochist to do that to yourself. It’s nothing but photos of couples being affectionate and long written statuses about how much people love each other. But as tough it is, don’t get too down. There is one thing out there that is always there for us loners. And that thing would be porn.

bender valentine's day meme

Forget the fancy clothes, expensive dinner, and roses that are just going to die after a few days. Is that stuff really what you want? No, it’s not. Chances are the only reason you’re feeling down this Valentine’s Day if you’re alone is because you’re not going to get laid. Well screw those people. You know what we’re going to do? We’re going to jerk off all damn night. While all those couples out there are having their 20 minutes of sex and calling it a night, we’re going to go at it for hours! We’re not going to have to try and buy our way into getting a blow job. No, you want blow jobs? Here, have all the fucking blow jobs and deepthroating¬†you could ever ask for.

And if you really want to get into the Valentine’s Day spirit, then you can check out these films to get the full experience!

Valentine’s Day Getaway

¬†Valentine’s Day Assacre 2

So instead of being sad and mopey this Valentine’s Day, think of all the money you’re saving and how you don’t have to beg for any type of specific sex that you might want. You have something so much better. You have the company of tons of hot girls who will give you whatever you want. Let porn be your Valentine this year.

 

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