the reddit alien wearing pink

So, I’m kind of a big deal on a link aggregating website called Reddit.com, heard of it? We hold a contest every week on the sex sub-reddit and the winner gets a handful of porn DVDs shipped out to them. We’ve had pussy eating haiku, pick-up line competitions, and found out what weird crap people fuck. It’s a lot of fun, but when it comes to giving away all these porn DVDs its just drops in the bucket.

So, I’m still open to suggestions and propositions about how to actually go about unloading all this porn. I wanted to give some to the Kinsey Institute and it looks like that was finally approved. It took two shareholder’s meetings, a business plan, an IRS audit, and a cavity search but at last I got approval to spend $6.13 to ship some up to them.

I can’t get through it all sending a few each week to various redditors. Besides, some of them live in backward sexually repressed third world states like Alabama and Texas, and we can’t ship to those places. Seriously, help me out here internet. My next best plan is to load up a small charter plane with thousands of gay porn DVDs and just crop- dust Uganda.

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