If you watch baseball or have ever been to a game you know of the ceremonial first pitch. The first pitch is generally thrown by some sort of celebrity figure. Everyone from Olympic athletes to US presidents to actors have had the honor of initiating the start of baseball game with this tradition.

Lately, however, there’s been a run of highly attractive ladies having first pitch honors. Let’s just say that some fared better than others…

Just yesterday Carly Rae Jepsen threw out the first pitch at the Tampa Bay Rays game. The singer, most known for her hit song Call Me Maybe, should perhaps call a pitching coach next time she’s thinking about throwing a baseball in public.

But don’t worry, Carly, I still love you. Even if I’m now going to have Call Me Maybe stuck in my head for the next week.

Not to be outdone, Korean pop sensation Tiffany also had an enormous failure of a first pitch back in May at the Dodgers game.

However, you may find it hard to focus on where the ball is going when Tiffany is looking so very fine in those white pants. Seriously, she is an absolute babe.

tiffany first pitch

That could also just be my undying love for Asian girls coming through, though.

Ok ok, surely not all of these attractive ladies are terrible at throwing a baseball, right? Someone please redeem these two!

Well, someone did. Look no further than Korean Olympian Shin Soo-ji. Not only does she manage to get the ball to the catcher without it even bouncing, she throws in a sweet, and also sexy, full body spin in her windup.

I think perhaps if baseball started including this sort of thing in the actual games they may start to become more popular. Or maybe like there’s the Lingerie Football League, MLB could create a separate league of scantily clad, attractive women playing wiffle ball or something. I know I would watch.

The mustache is something often associated with the world of pornography. And it just so happens that two of my favorite things in life are mustaches and baseball. So today I thought it’d be a fun little Monday activity to take a look at the top 5 lip hats in baseball.

5.  Mike Schmidt

Right off the bat (HA puns) is the greatest third baseman of all time, Michael Jack Schmidt. The man had a Hall of Fame mike schmidt mustachecareer playing for the Phillies and helped lead the team to a World Series in 1980 with a MVP season. But enough about his minor and insignificant accomplishments playing baseball…can we talk about this stache?! Schmidt went with a classic look. It was neat, thick, and iconic really. It must have been nice knowing that even if his baseball career had fallen through, he could always have gone into porn with that glorious upper lip rug.



4.  Dennis Eckersley

Eckersley’s stache was quite similar to Schmidt’s. What gives our old pal Dennis the edge in this one, though, is that addeddennis eckersley mustache a little flair. While Schmidt’s clearly had its boundaries above the lip, Eckersley introduced a bit of the horseshoe and had his come down just a little onto the sides of his mouth. Now this is a subtle move but one that helped him gain just a little more favor in the eyes of this blogger.




3.  John Axford

Number 3 on my list is the baby of the bunch. The casual fan may not be aware of him, but what Mr. Axford lacks in john axford mustacheexperience, he more than makes up for with his gem of a mustache. While he has been a serviceable relief pitcher for the Brewers over the past few years, his real gift to the world is his beautiful handlebar. A man clearly born in the wrong era, Axford pays tribute to a time long past with this lip spinach.





2.  Goose Gossage

Goose Gossage is known throughout the world of baseball as being a pioneer of the closer position. But for our purposes, goose gossage mustachethe man was far braver when he threw caution to the wind and gave us a horseshoe mustache the world rarely gets the chance to see. It wasn’t just your typical horseshoe that you can find at any sleazy truck stop. This man was no ordinary peasant. No no, he decided to let that thing run wild the farther down his face it went. The Goose’s domination of late game situations is matched only by his conquest of my heart.




1.  Rollie Fingers

Continuing our relief pitcher heavy list…Rollie Fingers was a very special player in his day. In fact, he even managed to rollie fingers mustacheget his number retired by two different teams (Athletics and Brewers). Clearly the man had talent on the diamond. The ability to throw a baseball, however, pales in comparison to what Fingers had going on with that mustache. This flavor saver was no ordinary handlebar. The edges of this beast curled so much that they practically created two full circles on either side of his mouth. Now that is impressive! Fingers’ villainous, yet classy look, is the reason he made it to number 1 on my list of the best mustaches in baseball.

pictures: homerderby

If you’re in Philadelphia right now you’re oozing with baseball fever. I’m serious! I’m not even a big baseball fan and I’m on the edge of my seat in anticipation for the game tonight. It’d be pretty amazing if the Phillies took the World Series, well aside from having to fear for my life because Philadelphia fans are CRAZY and the whole city will turn into a huge riot.

Anyway, to ease the anticipation of the game tonight, take a look at some baseball porn: