Duck Dynasty is not only the most watched reality show in cable history, it’s also possibly the most merchandised. From t-shirts to bobbleheads to jigsaw puzzles and cookbooks, it’s only fitting that there’s now a Duck Dynasty parody porno. OMG…It’s the Duck Dynasty XXX Parody features some of the buffest male porn stars in the business suiting up in camouflage and strapping on hugely fake beards to impersonate Willie, Jase, Phil, and, of course, crazy Uncle Si Robertson. In this ridiculously over-the-top romp, each member of the parody Robertson clan heartily plows his wife (or the girlfriend of a younger Robertson, in Uncle Si’s case), each one played by one of four of the most gorgeous porn stars in the business.
On the actual A&E show, Miss Kay, the matriarch of the Robertson Clan, gets whatever she wants using food and sex, so I was anxious to see her depicted in porn. It’s rare for an episode to go by without her seducing her family with food or seducing her husband with innuendo, so it was only appropriate that Chanel Preston walks on screen holding a pot and wearing an apron with one breast clearly exposed. Phil Robertson (played in the porn version by Evan Stone) has to throw out the standard Duck Dynasty catch-phrases about “happy wife, happy life, and being happy happy happy,” but the real star of this scene and the entire movie is Miss Kay who, after a few too many beaver puns and several minutes of touching her beaver, wiggles her butt and starts devouring cock. The best scene in the movie involves Phil noisily face-fucking Miss Kay as her breasts bounce out of the apron. She thoroughly licks his ass, gulps his balls, and gets her mouth stuffed, all as a lead up to some amazingly rough sex.
Switching gears from sexy to funny, Si Robertson (Tommy Pistol)’s scene starts with him lounging out in the woods and erotically blowing his duck call with his belly hanging out. The scene quickly transforms when Christie (Kendall Carson) comes over to sip his sweet tea. After a few awkward trademark Si Robertson one-liners, Christie gets topless and starts gagging on the fleshy duck call between his legs. Kendall Carson is gorgeous and her fake, over-the-top, southern accent actually makes her seem that much sexier. She noisily gives some masterful deepthroating as Si compares it to bass fishing and references ducks nearby. It’s in this scene that the references to the show really get in the way of the sex. At one point, Christie simultaneously has a duck call and Si’s cock in her mouth, which really breaks up the fun. After calling her “Jack” an innumerable amount of times, he finally decides to mount up, but not before referencing Vietnam one more time.
The Duck Dynasty porn parody contains some amazing sex scenes by some gorgeous and talented porn stars, but unfortunately, the “Duck Dynasty” theme can be a mood-killer for those trying to cum more than trying to laugh. The last sex scene ends with Kendall Carson asking Si if he’s “happy happy happy.” This movie will definitely make you “happy happy happy,” but mileage may vary as to whether or not you “cum cum cum.”
Watch the Full Movie Here
Today’s post was guest written by Southern Steel. A big thanks to him for the review!