The actual HotMovies calendar, live now

What will the calendar reveal? A Nativity scene? The North Pole? Aletta Ocean's ass?

Philadelphia, PA – The delivery workers are hustling, annoying music assaults us in places of commerce, and Fox News pundits are on the warpath, which can only mean one thing; the holidays are here. HotMovies.com unveils its new advent calendar to help cope with the stressful holiday season.

“When I was a kid, we opened the advent calendar every December day in anticipation of Christmas. Now, HotMovies.com users can do the same thing; except instead of candy, it’s free porn,” said HotMovies.com Director of Business Development James Cybert.

Each day in December, logged in HotMovies users can open a square on the advent calendar and redeem a prize. “It could be some free minutes, a free rental, or an even better secret prize,” said Cybert, giggling like a small brat. “You will just have to visit every day to find out!”

A.K.A. “Giving Away Free Porn is Hard: Part IV”

Just a few of the thousands of extra porno DVDs at HotMovies.com

Philadelphia, PA – HotMovies.com has donated a cache of foreign-language adult DVDs to the Kinsey Institute as part of its ongoing effort to bring porn to those who need it most. The Kinsey Library was looking for more foreign language titles for their archive of erotica when HotMovies answered the call with titles from Japan, Italy, Germany, Turkey, and France.

As the world’s largest video on demand provider, HotMovies accumulates hundreds of thousands of adult DVDs for encoding purposes. While they keep a hard copy of each of the 150,000+ movies on the site, sometimes providers send duplicates. Over HotMovies’ 9 years of service, they have gathered a large amount of these duplicates; some estimate as many as 10,000.

“We wanted to send these DVDs where they would do the most good,” said HotMovies director of business development James Cybert. “The Kinsey Institute has been contributing to the science of human sexuality for more than 60 years. They have an impressive archive of academic studies, erotic art from all over the world, and now, foreign language porno DVDs from HotMovies.”

The Kinsey Institute has an impressive library of material related to human sexuality. Their erotic art collection includes all kinds of pieces from all over the world, and spans 2,000 years of human history. The Kinsey Library boasts a photography collection of 48,000 pieces. HotMovies.com is proud to contribute to Kinsey’s extensive film and visual media library with titles like Schwanz Fresser (Dick Eater,) Sperma Tanken (Cum Refuel,) Culi Sempre Pronto (Asses Ready,) and Atti Spudoratamente Osceni (Blatantly Obscene Acts.)

The HotMovies DVD archive still contains thousands of extra DVDs that still need a good home. “We’re still looking for a non-profit organization to give these to,” said Cybert. “If you can suggest a charity that deserves a contribution, contact us with details.”

We were going to donate a bunch of our tons of free porn DVDs, but so far they haven’t gotten back to me. Who would have thought it would be so hard to give away a metric ton of free porn?

First world problems

I am literally swimming in free porn.




If you know of a charity who would be interested in receiving bulk porn, please let me know. Leave a comment, drop a book on my face, or twat me.

So here at HotMovies.com headquarters (a massive Cobra-shaped stone obelisk hidden in the jungles of Central America,) we store every last one of our 150,000 porno movies. We have our own servers, hosting like 4 quadrillion gigs of streaming video, an underground helipad, a blood diamond mine, and a giant machine that crushes the diamonds into crack cocaine, but I digress. Anyway- for every movie we encode and upload to our servers, we also have a physical copy to go with it. That means we have more than 150,000 DVDs, VHS tapes, laser discs, and whatever all stored in a huge underground vault. Companies send them to us and we encode them. Well sometimes they send us more than one.

This happens every once in a while, and in the ten years or so we’ve been porn-mongers, they have piled up. They piled up high. Real high. It’s hard to say, but to me it looks like maybe 5,000 to 10,000; maybe even like 20,000 extra porno DVDs. They just sit there in boxes, providing no boners, and that ain’t right.

Boxes full of porn

so... much... porn...

boxes packed with pornos

boxes... overflowing... can't...

so much of it

show... all of it...

So what can we do with them? I know what you’re thinking, you greedy American Capitalist pigs, you think we should sell them. Well we already do- on the internet. The studios sent this stuff to us in good faith for encoding purposes, so we’re not going to turn around and start slinging them on eBay or something. Besides, HotMovies programmed a computer that wrote an algorithm, that told it to hire a lawyer, who advised them to hire me – to use our power for good, not evil. There are starving children in Somalia who would love to have this porn.

Thing is, giving away thousands of porno DVDs is a lot harder than it sounds. Half the people don’t believe me, and the other half are just perverts who aren’t needy- they’re just cheap. It turns out that the Salvation Army is a Christian organization, and they didn’t appreciate it when I showed up with a shady white van full of porn. I tried giving them out on the street, but the cops chased me ten blocks. They only stopped when I threw the box down so I could run faster.

So I’m kind of lost. Who needs porn? Non-profit sperm banks? Mormons? The troops?

HotMovies.com Valentines Day Free Porn Offer

FREE PORN REMINDER

Today is the day ladies and gentlemen.

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!!!!!!

Please don’t forget that HotMovies.com will be offering it’s entire library for FREE between the hours of 4pm – 6pm (est) today.

Here are some suggested categories to check out: ( View All Categories )

Adult Videos with Story Lines

Costume Play

Instructional Sex Videos

Award Winners

All of us at HotMovies.com want to show our fans that they are appreciated over this Thanksgiving holiday. What we have above is a way to feel appreciated after dinner is over, the family has left, and you’re granted that sweet 20 minutes of solitude before passing out from an overdose of Triptophan.

Push the Turkey gut aside and treat yourself with 15 Free Minutes of limitless access to over 150,000 top quality porn videos at HotMovies.com, HotMoviesforHer.com, FetishMovies.com, and/or GayMovies.com. Use your Free Minutes any way you want across our entire adult video on demand network.

Happy Thanksgiving Porn Fans!

Porn Parody - Alice - Alice gets fucked deep
Porn Parody - Alice - Alice in Wonderland porn
Porn Parody - Alice - Sunny Lane sucks Mad Hatter dick

Porn Parody - AliceI hope you’re ready to explore this rabbit’s hole. Cal Vista and director Erica McLean bring us a purely sexual twist on Lewis Carrol’s Alice in Wonderland apply named, Alice.

Our doe eyed blonde heroine is played by none other than one of the Adult Industry’s reigning adorable blondes, Sunny Lane. Sunny’s vibrant personality and irresistible girl next door smile made her a perfect candidate for the role of Alice. Not to mention the way her smooth, milky thighs look when that Victorian blue dress gets lifted for a proper inspection. Who would be inspecting such an innocent looking girl’s private places you ask?

The Mad Hatter of course! Played by Evan Stone, the Hatter’s hat isn’t the only over-sized object waiting for Alice’s return. This bad Mad Hatter wants the piece of Alice’s prime 19 year old ass that he missed during her first adventure in Wonderland. Alice, being the fantasy adventure queen herself, bends over the unbirthday table and let’s him have his fill. A very merry unbirthday to you indeed Mr. Stone.

The allure of this Alice in Wonderland porn parody is the way its shot. In what feels like a mix between “Oz” and “Through the Looking Glass”, the characters don over the top costumes and dramatic make-up in a mix of artistically color washed scenes. The choice of color in this porn video definitely creates a feeling of being immersed by a fantastical, sexual world. Mix professional creativity with stellar performances by porn stars such as Sunny Lane, Evan Stone, April Flores, and many more, and you have one gorgeous sexual romp.

Want to take a fantastic journey down Alice’s hole? Click HERE

Free Porn Virus-Alert - Here We Have VirusLONDON, UK - A new e-mail virus that promises access to free sex films is wreaking havoc on some of the biggest businesses across the world.

The ‘trojan’ virus with the subject ‘Here you have‘ is filling in-boxes with multiple e-mails after infecting users’ address books. In some cases, the virus is bringing down corporate e-mail systems with the sheer weight of messages, the Daily Mail reported.

Trojans are malicious programs that hide inside apparently harmless computer files.

The virus arrives as an e-mail with the subject line ‘Here you have‘ and invites the user to click on a link to a PDF file. One of the most common variants promises a link to free ‘sex downloads’.

Once the user does so, the virus is downloaded onto his machine and spreads to all the contacts inside of his e-mail account, sending them the same e-mail in turn.

The worm also tries to shut down any anti-virus software that has been installed.

Firms including Nasa, Comcast, AIG, Disney and Proctor & Gamble have all been affected.

Comcast was forced to shut down its servers Friday after being hit by the virus.

The term ‘Here you have virus’ is now one of the most searched for phrases on Google.

One version of the e-mail says, ‘Hello: This is the document I told you about, you can find it here‘ and includes a link to what looks like a PDF.

Another includes the subject ‘Just for you‘ and says ‘This is the free download sex movies, you can find it here.

If you receive the messages, computer security firm McAfee says to delete the message without clicking the link and alert your IT office.

Ram Herkanaidu, security researcher at Moscow headquartered Kaspersky Lab, said that the e-mail closely resembles the ‘I love you‘ virus which caused havoc about 10 years ago.

His firm has now raised their global ‘threat’ level.

“We’ve identified an e-mail worm called VBMania. The interesting thing about it is that it uses very old tactics. The worm is so called because it worms itself through your e-mail address book and sends copies of itself out to all your contacts,” he said.

Article Provided by CIOL.com

Finally, someone got my three favorite things in one place!

Two “year 10″ kids (whatever that equates to in the U.K.) broke the most ambitious and genius marketing plan in history. With every purchase of ₤5 or more at their Burger and Beer Van operation, each customer received a free porno DVD. This kind of marketing innovation has me wondering if I should be going to get information on hot dog carts. :)

“You wouldn’t see this in many places. I can’t imagine that Norwich has the equivalent of this. It was like seeing something out of Phoenix Nights. I half expected Brian Potter to wheel himself around the corner at any given moment and ask what I was doing. Driffield really is like no other place I’ve visited.

My friend Adam has visited the caravan several times and has been able to give me a rough account of its rise and rise over the last few weeks:

* Week one- Two year 10 kids in a burger van selling burgers and booze. Free porn available on orders over £5.

* Week two- Two kids in a caravan selling burgers and booze, with a large posse. Free porn available on orders over £5.

* Week three- Two caravans selling burgers and booze, whilst they projected porn on to a nearby wall. This time accompanied by a man with a big bushy beard. Free porn still available on orders over £5.

* Week four- Two caravans selling burgers and booze, a small fire, porn being projected on to the wall. Free porn offer still stood. A mini motorbike was on one of the caravan roofs. Someone tried to steal it, and was chased off by the man with the big bushy beard brandishing a golf club.

I’ll give it to the two kids – they know their target audience. Ask most blokes in Driffield on a Saturday night what the three most important things in life are, and they will probably say “tits, meat, and beer”. It makes me wonder how nobody thought of this one stop shop sooner. I’m assuming that these lads are either business geniuses, or they paid some serious money to get some good focus groups going.” - AngryFlatCap

See the Pictures and Read the Rest HERE

Carli Banks and Celeste Star are roommates who totally enjoy foreplay and fun. Dressing up in gorgeous lingerie and elegant nylon, they smoke and kiss and turn each other on and drive each other crazy. Carli takes charge and soon has Celeste twitching and moaning at her fingertips, and even uses the heavy artillery (the Vibra King) on her willing roomy. Multiple orgasms later the girls have a smoke and candid chat outside before saying goodbye until their next meeting!

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