So I was bored today and decided to mess around in Paint. I give you my collection of penis characters. Surprising as it may be, I actually don’t have a background in art.

pirate penis

Captain Dick lost one of his balls in an epic pirate showdown. Now none of the girl pirates will even look at him.

secret agent penis

So Sam Mendes is returning to direct the next James Bond installment which is good news for those who are fans of the franchise. Now, if only we could get a parody where 007 is played by a suave penis.

penis batman

I think this may be my finest work of the bunch. Keep a look out. There’s a good chance I’m going to make more superhero penis characters. The potential is just limitless.  Oh and if you ever wondered what it was like when Batman had sex, watch this.

skateboard penis

Imagine how much it would hurt if this little guy didn’t stick the landing to one of his tricks. Also, today I learned that I am really bad at drawing skateboards.

 penis basketball

Making a penis with an afro might just be the crowning moment of my career. It reminds me of a young Dr. J soaring through the air. Just, you know, more penisy.

Art designer Elena Mityanina was the brains behind the paint by boob, i mean, number creation.

See why: here