Reddit can be a lot of different things. Funny, stupid, helpful, intelligent, immature. For example, r/sex is a very welcoming community that gives out great advice for whatever questions you may have regarding sex. Then there are the posts like the one I stumbled across today in r/AskReddit. This post was titled, What is the most embarrassing thing someone has walked in on you doing? NSFW. Naturally, most of the stories in the thread were sexual but also quite hilarious. Here are some of my favorites:

u/ihatebanana

Brushing the inside of my butthole with a toothbrush. I was 9. I had no idea what was going on.

Edit: Dammit reddit how did I know you’d like this

u/Zuggernaut

16y/o me is getting bj. Me standing, gf sitting on bed. Mom walks in without knocking. 2 feet away. Immediately backs out, then knocks again. I zip my pants, she walks in and asks what we want from the Chinese restaurant.

u/arecar1

Didn’t happen to me but my friend told me this happened to him. Well his stepmom was supposed to be asleep or doing something. One of the two. And so being the only person around, he decides it’d be nice to pleasure himself. He’s getting into it, and suddenly, he hears footsteps getting close to his room. To save himself, he tries to reach and pull the power cord from the computer to turn it off. But in reaching, he violently slammed his head on the computer desk and knocks himself unconscious. Stepmom walks in to find him knocked out cold with a hand around his knob, out cold, with porn in the back ground.

u/hoefashow

Last summer my boyfriend went to Australia with his dad for the summer and I stayed at my moms in my old room because I didn’t want to be alone for a month and a half. We would talk on webcam every night before he went to bed, it was like a 17hr time difference so it was night there and morning here. One morning one thing led to another and Skype sex started to happen. He said he missed watching me ride him and asked me to ride my pillow for him. Now this was going on at like 9am and normally my mom left for work by 7ish so I wasn’t concerned about keeping quiet. So I’m completely naked, riding a pillow, throwing my head back, moaning, and putting on a show, when my door flies open. My poor mom all wide-eyed and terrified quickly closes the door and knocks. “I’m leaving for work, love you bye!”. I guess she didn’t have to go into work till later that day, but we never spoke of it and hopefully never will.

u/MVB1837

Drank too much gin one night, and apparently decided to go into the bathroom, bust open my laptop, and have a good wank.

Apparently I didn’t lock the door, and passed out in the middle of pleasuring myself. So my roommate walks in and finds me in the fetal position, dick in hand and completely naked, slumbering soundly.

It was pretty incriminating. I still worry that he took a picture of it.

u/idek_mann

Trying to orally pleasure myself.

u/Blacky31

Spinning my boner like a helicopter.

u/xDESTROY

I was peeing into the stall at my high school restroom last year from about 3-4 feet away and a dude walks in and just says “naw”, and walks out.

u/Transxxx

I’ve been walked in on giving head, drinking my own cum out of a glass, with a giant fist dildo in my ass. I need to get a lock.

I think the one thing to take away from this is that you should always make sure your door is locked. It seems like that will solve pretty much all of the problems here. Of course, if we go by what porn tells us, then I’m surprised more of the moms walking in on these situations didn’t just join in and have sex with the boyfriend or girlfriend.

We were going to donate a bunch of our tons of free porn DVDs, but so far they haven’t gotten back to me. Who would have thought it would be so hard to give away a metric ton of free porn?

First world problems

I am literally swimming in free porn.




If you know of a charity who would be interested in receiving bulk porn, please let me know. Leave a comment, drop a book on my face, or twat me.

the reddit alien wearing pink

So, I’m kind of a big deal on a link aggregating website called Reddit.com, heard of it? We hold a contest every week on the sex sub-reddit and the winner gets a handful of porn DVDs shipped out to them. We’ve had pussy eating haiku, pick-up line competitions, and found out what weird crap people fuck. It’s a lot of fun, but when it comes to giving away all these porn DVDs its just drops in the bucket.

So, I’m still open to suggestions and propositions about how to actually go about unloading all this porn. I wanted to give some to the Kinsey Institute and it looks like that was finally approved. It took two shareholder’s meetings, a business plan, an IRS audit, and a cavity search but at last I got approval to spend $6.13 to ship some up to them.

I can’t get through it all sending a few each week to various redditors. Besides, some of them live in backward sexually repressed third world states like Alabama and Texas, and we can’t ship to those places. Seriously, help me out here internet. My next best plan is to load up a small charter plane with thousands of gay porn DVDs and just crop- dust Uganda.

Click the image to see the thread.