PipeDream Hot Snatch

“I hope your dick is hard”

“Give me a fucking second, you think I just walk around with a hard cock?”

He shouts and I quickly start to write down his words on the laptop and turning back to me the groping starts as I am typing.

“What the fuck, I am trying to write!” I scream at him.

“What I thought you wanted my cock hard!?”

This is us, I am a practically un employed writer and Bam Bam Gigolo is a bartender at a dive bar. He stands about 6’1, bearded, tattooed, and a buff bear of an ex marine.

We received this Pipedream Extreme Toyz Fanta Flesh Therma-Sleeve “Hot Snatch” thanks to HotMovies.com.

“I have a present for you!” I told him over the phone.

“Oh yea?” he said and I began to tell him that he was expected to fuck this microwavable fake pussy in front of me so I could review it.

“…..sure, whatever” was his disinterested answer about the project.

I got home that night and he was gone, so I ate dinner and passed out, fake snatch on the floor next to the bed.

“Wake up baby” came his voice around midnight when he was home. He passed me a bottle of water and asked if I had eaten anything and I pointed to the Chinese food trash still on the floor from where I had passed out.

“Baby you have to fuck that thing for my story.” I told him sleepily.

“I will” he said as he started groping me and laid down next to me. That turned into more groping and eventually he talked me into some ‘fluffing’ and after a few minutes he was rock hard.

I reached down to grab the “Hot Snatch” and he said “what are you doing, turn around!”

“No baby, you have to fuck this pussy!” I said, “take this part downstairs and microwave it”.

“No, I am not doing that, turn around.” he said naked, hard cock in my face.

“What the fuck! YOU SAID YOU WOULD DO THIS!”

“NO, not now. I am fucking you now.” he said steady voice, grabbing me by my upper arm to pull me around to meet his dick before he lost his boner.

“You better fuck that thing tomorrow! I am not kidding!” I demanded as I moved into position to lose the battle to his demands and hard cock.

The next day we woke up together in our tiny apartment, his morning wood pushed into my back.

“Baby your dick is hard, fuck that thing now.” I said sleepily to him.

“Nope” he said rolling over.

Days passed, that fake microwavable vagina in the box, untouched. I would ask, “when are you going to fuck that thing?” only to meet an ignorant remark from him.

Finally I took matters into my own hands as he began to grope and harass me while I worked on the computer, I seized the moment and I turned on some porn on HotMovies.com.

First thing was first, the most inconvenient; getting it down downstairs to the microwave. The instructions read like this:

Use a Microwave to heat the Therma-Sleeve to your desired warmth. You’ll be ready for action in minutes!

Here’s how to do it:

-Remove the thermasleeve from the packaging. Flatten the sleeve and ensure the gel is evenly distributed. Place the sleeve inside a…..

“Hurry the fuck up” came an obnoxious shout from the upstairs and I just threw it in the microwave for 2:30 which I assumed was acceptable due to the age and weakness of the microwave. Then I ran back upstairs for 3 minutes to keep the fluffing up.

After I got back downstairs to the Microwave half naked the sleeve was hot enough to carry upstairs, but still really warm.

I went back upstairs to a giant naked white man stroking his own cock and I took my position on my knees. Simultaneously reaching in the box to take out the rubber Vagina with sleeve in it. After I sucked him hard, I stopped to pull the long rubber pussy tube hanging from the bottom of the vagina through the warm soft gooo filled Therma Sleeve. Pussy hanging out of the top.

Included was a sample of lube which  was used COMPLETELY.

Then came penetration;  as he grabbed the fist full tube and put it on his cock, I watched his eyes light up as he practically was punching himself getting it all the way in.

Each time it did, there was a familiar blow job-sucking noise of the moist rubber vacuum.

The whole event didn’t last very long, and at the end after cumming he kept the “Hot Snatch” firm on his cock.

“How was it?”

“Warm, wet, and a really close to a real pussy.”

 

-Written by ANON and product tested by Bam Bam Gigalo for NO COMPENSATION

The PipeDream “Hot Snatch” retails for a varying price of $39.99

Check out more product details and where to purchase here!

Adult Blog Pink4FreeAs more consumers are looking for suggestions and education on sex toys and other pleasure products, they are increasingly turning to bloggers, sex toys reviewers and even sex educators. And manufacturers can create relationships with those internet savvy people that are mutually beneficial, according to panelists at the seminar The Role Bloggers/Reviewers Play in the Adult Industry, which took place Friday at the AVN Novelty Expo.

Brandon B., a manager at The Pleasure Chest in New York, explained that he started blogging as a way to drive traffic to the brick-and-mortar store, and the relationships he’s developed between himself and customers and himself and manufacturers has been invaluable.

But Brandon B. and other panelists offered some tips for manufacturers and retailers to make inroads with bloggers and reviewers and how to do so effectively.

“Make it easy for us,” said Jaiya of New World Sex Education. “You’ve got to make it simple.”

If reviewers have to jump through too many hoops to receive products or find information to download or upload links, chances are they will turn away she said.

Brandon B. also suggested not putting restrictions on reviewers or being afraid of a critical, yet constructive, review.

“And don’t throw a bunch of spaghetti at the wall and hope some of it sticks,” noted Pamela Madsen of TheFertilityAdvicate.com. “Get to know us, see who we are and see if we are a fit for your company or your product.”

Buck Angel, performer and sex educator, echoed those sentiments, suggesting that manufacturers or retailers do a little homework about the reviewers/bloggers/educators before blindly sending them product: Known as the “man with a pussy,” the TS performer said he’s a little baffled when people send him cock rings for review.

Dr. Charlie Glickman, who handles the education department at sex-positive retailer Good Vibrations, said that good relationships established between bloggers and reviewers and their customers as well as god relationships between those bloggers/reviewers and the manufacturers and retailers can translate into good business.

“The more you use bloggers to build relationships with your potential customers, the more people will come your way,” he said.

The seminars at the AVN Novelty Expo were sponsored by Sinrex.
For more information, visit AVNNoveltyExpo.com.


#7. The First Sex Toy
I don’t envy anyone that had to use one of the first sex toys- the one above certainly doesn’t look very enjoyable. However, I am very thankful for modern day sex toys because they definitely bring an extra oomph to the bedroom.

See the list of the 7 Important Historical Breakthroughs (In Masturbation)

Adult Video Megaplexxx in Houston wants their $50,000 worth of merchandise seized by the Houston Police Department back. The problem is, the Houston PD can’t seem to find any of it. Funny how that happens.

The Houston PD are claiming the ‘evidence’ was destroyed, but no documents were even presented that required the destruction of the sex toys. The employees of Adult Video Megaplexxx believe the police stole the sex toys to give to their girlfriends and friends.

I think the employees have a point- they’re the ones in the business and they know what their customers want.

Source: Chron.com

Jamye Waxman caught me resting my eyes at AVN Novelty Expo in Los Angeles this week.

What can I say? I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. The ANE is like AVN but just for dildos. It’s hard to promote for your plastic replacements. Plus I was up late the night before. Anchorman was on TBS and I couldn’t go to bed without finishing it. The Will ferall is hilarious but Paul Rudd is the actor’s comedian…

Anyway, safe to say that Jamye had a better time then i did. Although I did get all my Christmas shopping done early this year.

-Ron Jeremy

Ron Jeremy is the All Time King and Class Clown of pornography. Having stared in over 1,800 films AVN Magazine named him #1 among the “100 Top Porn Stars of All Time” and he wants to be your MySpace friend.

American Apparel is now going to sell the Hitachi Magic Wand. They’ve reached such success in exploiting hipster girls through their advertisements and sexual harassment, it only seems natural to now sell sex toys.

If I worked for that company I would run out of there so fast- before Dov Charney tried to stick it in me then ask me to simulate oral sex on my boss.

Source: Street Boners

“For most Americans, vending machines are a convenient way to get their afternoon soda fix or to cure the munchies with a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos. In other countries, vending machines are host to the bizarre, the wacky, and sometimes, the perverted. We’ve come a long way from soda. Check out these not-so-ordinary vending machines from around the world.”

See the rest of the machines at Divine Caroline

If you find yourself saying “I have that!” a number of times while perusing the following gallery, it might be a good idea to sort some things out with a trained professional.

Get the whole list at Gizmodo.