It’s no secret that I love Star Wars. December of 2015 can’t come soon enough! No matter how many times I’ve seen all of the movies, I will still keep it on every time it shows up on tv. And yes, that includes the newer trilogy. Because as shitty and nonsensical as it can be at times, it’s still frickin Star Wars!

star wars

So when I saw that there was a Star Wars porn parody, I had to check it out and give it a review. Now, I haven’t watched the film yet as I’m writing this part. So let’s go over some hopes and expectations.

  1. There better be a scene with Princess Leia in the slave outfit from when she’s held prisoner in Jabba the Hutt’s palace.
  2. I want to see lightsabers. I don’t care the context or how terrible the graphics look. They better make an appearance!
  3. I want Han Solo and Lando Calrissian to double team a girl. Preferably Leia but that’s not a necessity.
  4. You now how Darth Vader screams “NOOOOOOOOOOOO” at the end of Episode III? Well I want that. Except instead of “NO” he should be yelling “OOOOHHHHHH” as he orgasms.

Those are my demands Star Wars XXX – A Porn Parody. They better be met.

The Review

star wars xxx box cover

I’d like to start things off by saying well done to the folks who made this movie. The scrolling narrative intro that is such a staple of the Star Wars franchise is executed to perfection in this parody. It’s also great to see that the Stormtroopers have been replaced with women in very skimpy outfits. I’m not sure how this will protect them in battle, but it sure makes for better watching for the audience. However, while the Stormtroopers are improved, they somehow found a way to make C-3PO even more annoying in this than the original movies.

Overall this is a great parody. When watching these porn spoofs, they can go either way for me. Sometimes studios take short cuts and don’t put int the effort to make the parody feel like the original. They might throw some costumes on and then forget everything else. This Star Wars XXX – A Porn Parody, though, takes great consideration into music, special effects, and does a great job playing off the original scenes and dialogue from the movies. It really makes it enjoyable for those of us who love Star Wars. Plus, the porn isn’t too shabby either.

Watch Star Wars XXX- A Porn Parody here. 

 

Penn-State-Buys-XXX-WebsitesIn what Penn State University is calling a purely preventative strategy, the school has purchased multiple .XXX domains containing words, acronyms and phrases used in their branding. PSU.xxx, PennState.xxx, NittanyLions.xxx and ThePennsylvaniaStateUniversity.xxx were purchased for $200 each in hopes of keeping adult industry webmasters from using other associated web addresses. ICANN had allowed certain organizations, including colleges, to purchase .XXX domains before the public for this very reason.

The news may not come as too big of a shock to the adult industry, which also was allowed first dibs on branded URLs. Although, news of these .XXX purchases comes at a horrible time for Penn State University. Fox News published a short article focusing on these domains, and supplemented it further with yet another summary of the Jerry Sandusky scandal. It seems the media is not going to be happy until PSU is forever known as the most scandalous University in America.

Penn State’s preventative measures may seem well planned, but we adult industry webmasters known a thing-er-two about how to get around such tactics. The purchase of NittanyLions.xxx may stop us from creating URLs such as NittanyLionGirls.xxx, but it does not take PennLionGirls.xxx out of the realm of possibilities. Addresses like PennsylvaniaStateUndies.xxx, PeeSU.xxx, and PussyStateUniversity.xxx will eventually appear on the wondrous web.

Casting.xxx First .xxx domainAttention porn fans and adult industry members, a new dawn has risen over our wide web world. The first .xxx domain has officially been registered, designed, and pushed live.

Given multiple .xxx domains under ICM Registry’s “founder” program, Casting.xxx is registered under a company named Really Useful. Although ICM had published about.xxx as a corporate url, Casting.xxx is the first porn site to utilize a highly debated .xxx domain name. It is very interesting how little can be found on the Really Useful parent company, based in the Turks and Caicos Islands. One would expect an internet company, granted “founder” status on one of the most controversial domain extensions in history, to have much more online representation. Yet, not even a Wikipedia page stands to identify them.

Two year old MetaCert.com has been named as the standard .xxx site classification service. This service will act as both a search engine link censor for users, and the proverbial .xxx ban hammer for domain owners.

“Rather than create yet another proprietary technology that ties customers into using our plug-ins, we decided to help instigate the formation of a new industry standard for classifying and labeling content on the Web. This new open standard is now called POWDER. Our platform and all of our products are based on this new open standard – enabling browsers and search engines to highlight certificates inside search results.” – MetaCert.com

The definition of proprietary software is a licensee being given the right to use software under certain conditions, but restricted from other uses, such as modification, further distribution, or reverse engineering. Since registering and maintaining an adult site on .xxx requires use of MetaCert.com‘s web classification services, there is little difference between proprietary software and their self-adopted description. This move also doubles as an intense link-building strategy, taking advantage of organic search result pages directly.

MetaCert.com‘s chairman, Salesforce.com chief scientist JP Rangaswami, intends to “make money in part by selling privacy policy certificates to site owners inside and outside the porn business for half the price of TRUSTe.” In other words, he intends to undercut the privacy certificate market by 50% to boost initial sales and remove another middleman.

Both the Free Speech Coalition (FSC) and Larry Flynt have made their opinions of .xxx well-known. The FSC has adopted “.XXX is Bullshit” as a campaign slogan, and Larry Flynt has reportedly written to ICM demanding protection of the Hustler trademark. Flynt’s battle could define how the near future of .xxx will play out. If granted automated protection by ICM, many trademarked adult industry companies may keep their hands clean of .xxx all together.

India-Blocks-XXXThe Adult Industry’s fears concerning ICANN’s recent approval of the top level “.XXX” domain seem to be coming true. The Indian government has boldly stated their plans to block all access to “.XXX” web addresses. According to The Indian Technology Act of 2001, “Whoever publishes or transmits or causes to be published or transmitted in the electronic form any material which contains sexually explicit act or conduct shall be punished on first conviction with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to five years and with fine which may extend to ten lakh rupees [approx. US$20,833] and in the event of second or subsequent conviction with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to seven years and also with fine which may extend to ten lakh rupees.”

Extended fears include Adult websites being forced to give up their “.com” or “.net” addresses for exclusive “.xxx” properties. Of course, such a thing would make censoring all adult materials much easier for more sexually conservative governments. None the less, not everyone is convinced India’s bark has much bite included. Opinions of The Indian Technology Act’s section 67 vary greatly from firmly believing in the negative hype, to thinking it’s rulings are nothing more than a mockery.

“India along with many other countries from the Middle East and Indonesia opposed the grant of the domain in the first place, and we would proceed to block the whole domain, as it goes against the IT Act and Indian laws,” an unidentified “senior official” at the Indian Ministry of Internet Technology told the Economic Times. “Though some people have said that segregation is better, and some countries allow it, for other nations transmission and direct distribution of such content goes against their morals and culture.” – AVN

PHILADELPHIA—The last XXX movie theater in Philadelphia was on its way to becoming a part of history until, at the last minute, the city’s zoning board approved a variance to expand the space significantly. Despite continuing opposition from a neighborhood group, it now looks as if the venerable Forum Theater on Market Street will be around for years to come.

According to an article by the Philadelphia Inquirer architecture critic, Inga Saffron, the battle over the Forum is all but over, since it is very rare for the courts to reverse a zoning board decision. In March, a Common Pleas Court judge upheld a decision made in 2009 by the zooming board to allow the theater’s owner to raise the roof by three feet.

“That sounds trivial,” she wrote, “but, as theater attorney Ronald D. Patterson told me, the extra height would enable his client to insert a mezzanine and increase the operation’s total floor space by about 80 percent.”

The extra space will allow the theater to construct a new second-floor stage as well as install private viewing booths. In exchange for the variance, the theater’s longtime owner, Anthony Trombetta, said he would do away with the Les Gals, another strip club he owns on Market Street. According to Saffron, that allowance by Trombetta gave the zoning board the justification it needed as cover for its decision.

“The board’s logic, according to court documents, was that a one big porn palace was better for Market Street than two small ones,” she wrote. “In allowing Trombetta to enlarge the Forum, city planners and the zoning board went hook, line, and sinker for his argument that a consolidated porn operation would benefit Market Street.”

Read More

Pornography will have its own top-level domain, dot-XXX, the board of the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers decided Friday.

The proposal was made under ICANN’s rules for “sponsored” TLDs, through which domains have been created by interest groups including the aeronautical industry (dot-aero) and the cooperative movement (dot-coop).

ICM Registry, the company that proposed the dot-XXX domain, welcomed the vote.

“It’s been a long time coming,” ICM Chairman Stuart Lawley said in a statement, adding that he is “excited” by the move.

“The decision should soon bring to fruition our six-year effort to create a specific Web address for online adult entertainment, and comes on the heels of an independent review that declared that ICANN’s previous decision to deny dot-xxx was wrong,” he said.

ICM Registry says it is a “completely independent entity with no affiliation, current or historic, with the adult entertainment industry.” Read the rest of this entry »

ICANN Debates .xxx

ICANN has deferred a decision for at least 70 days on whether to create the “.xxx” domain name as an online red-light district.

The board of ICANN – the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers – has given its chief executive and chief lawyer two weeks to recommend options for the agency to handle the controversial issue. ICANN, which was meeting in Kenya, oversees the allocation of Internet addresses globally.

The .xxx domain campaign has seen three strikes already from ICANN. If denied again after the 70 day layover, this would be the fourth. “.xxx” is a proposed top-level domain (TLD) intended as a voluntary option for sexually explicit sites on the Internet. The name is inspired by the former MPAA and BBFC “X” rating, now commonly applied to pornographic movies as “XXX”. ICANN announced in June 1, 2005 that .xxx would become a sponsored top-level domain similar to .aero, .travel, etc. but it was never implemented. On May 10, 2006, ICANN reversed its decision, and on March 30, 2007, ICANN rejected the .xxx proposal a third time.

Here are the movies everyone’s watching…alone…

I’ll Toss Your Salad If You Butter My Buns

Ahh Seymore Butts. Who doesn’t love an anal-filled, high quality, gonzo flick here and there?

Read the rest of this entry »

X-Play to Produce Love Boat & Three’s Company XXX Spoofs

(Hollywood, CA) Producers Scott David and Jeff Mullen of X-Play are taking aim at the classic 1970’s television shows Three’s Company and The Love Boat as the next projects they will spoof XXX style.

With a full slate of X-Play television and celebrity parodies including Not Bewitched XXX set for a September release and a sequel to their hugely popular Not the Bradys XXX due in November, the Hollywood based production company is among the busiest and most enterprising studios in town.

“We make movies that appeal to us from a creative standpoint,” stated X-Play/All Media Play president Jeff Mullen. “Then we determine if there is a commercial market for the project and execute an appropriate marketing campaign and so far we’ve been able to connect to a sizable audience.” Read the rest of this entry »

X-Play to Produce Love Boat & Three’s Company XXX Spoofs

(Hollywood, CA) Producers Scott David and Jeff Mullen of X-Play are taking aim at the classic 1970’s television shows Three’s Company and The Love Boat as the next projects they will spoof XXX style.

With a full slate of X-Play television and celebrity parodies including Not Bewitched XXX set for a September release and a sequel to their hugely popular Not the Bradys XXX due in November, the Hollywood based production company is among the busiest and most enterprising studios in town.

“We make movies that appeal to us from a creative standpoint,” stated X-Play/All Media Play president Jeff Mullen. “Then we determine if there is a commercial market for the project and execute an appropriate marketing campaign and so far we’ve been able to connect to a sizable audience.” Read the rest of this entry »